The period between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day can be an exciting one for millions of Americans, but it’s also challenging to mental health. The American Psychological Association (APA) reports that 89% of the population indicates elevated stress levels at this time of the year. Meanwhile, the National Alliance on Mental Health states that for 64% of individuals with existing mental health conditions (anxiety, depression, et cetera) the signs and symptoms of said conditions are more pronounced during the season. All of this helps explain why each day, thousands of people across the nation ask Google, ChatGBT, Perplexity, and other search engines for advice on how to make it through the holidays.
Kindbridge wants you to do more than make it through the next few weeks or so. We want you to thrive, and in a manner that is not just sustainable but leads to greater happiness, success, and wellness in the future. Below is an overview of the common sources of negative emotions that can manifest during the holidays alongside tips and links to resources that spark your journey to vitality and wellbeing.
Sources of Negative Feelings During the Holiday Season and How to Overcome Them So You Can be Free to be Happy
Shopping Anxiety
A significant percentage of the population experiences holiday season shopping-related stress and anxiety.
For some, the bulk of the burden comes down to dealing with large crowds in shopping centers. Audible, visual, and physical cues can trigger all sorts of negative feelings and can aggravate existing mental health issues, including disorders and phobias that are associated with a desire to avoid public gatherings. If you’re among this group, please reference our guide to managing Black Friday anxiety which applies to all other shopping days through the holidays.
HOW TO MANAGE BLACK FRIDAY ANXIETY
Then there’s the 75% of shoppers who are stressed over making the right decision about buying gifts for loved ones, and the near equal number (73%) who are worried that they will regret their choice later. If you’re among this group, it’s important to know that you are having false expectations about the expectations that your loved ones have for the gifts they will receive from you. For the most part, they really do feel that it’s the thought that counts. That being said, you can mitigate this stressor with the practicality of requesting wish-lists from those in your gift-exchange circle. The latter also helps those who feel overwhelmed by too many options (77%). Of course, financial concerns are also a notable component to shopping anxiety, but because it’s such a prevalent public health concern during the holidays it deserves its own section. Please read ahead.
Financial Stress
Between gift purchases and costs associated with both hosting and attending holiday season festivities, it should come as no surprise to learn that 53% of Americans report that thinking about holiday spending causes them anxiety. Interestingly, and of further concern, is that this financial anxiety can trigger impulsive spending as a way to find temporary relief from negative feelings about finances, potentially worsening one’s financial situation.
Given the more palpable nature of financial anxiety, it’s important to take practical steps to easing this anxiety. Instead of waiting until the new year to make changes, as many do, reference financial support resources during the holiday season. Connect to a financial planner in your area, and if applicable (i.e. you’re in significant debt) take steps to recover financially by accessing debt consolidation services. Feel free to explore options, but we do encourage you to reference Debt.org which is a debt assistance organization that serves millions of Americans through accurate and accessible online information about personal finances. The simple act of seeking debt relief and/or improving financial literacy through available services can have a immediate positive impact on financial anxiety experienced during the holidays.
And what if your financial anxiety is accompanied by problematic coping behaviors? In addition to intervention from financial assistance service providers (where needed) connect to a counselor who can help you overcome triggers to spend impulsively and/or participate in other unhealthy activities that only offer fleeting relief.
Time Constraints
Does anyone feel like they have enough time to get things done during the holiday season? On top of normal career and household obligations, there is a whirlwind of to-dos that compound anxiety and stress.
Ironically, the best way to overcome time anxiety is to slow things down and keep your mind in the moment. Practice the following as soon as you begin to feel anxiety creep in:
- Focus on your breathing: Slow down your stress response by taking slow and deep breaths until feelings of anxiety begin to leave your body.
- Ground yourself: Focus attention to your physical surroundings through the senses of sight, scent, sound, and touch. This will bring your mind back to the present.
- Slow your movements: Whether you’re cleaning, cooking, decorating, typing, or walking through the mall, consciously slow down your physical actions. A 25% reduction is a good way to think about it, as it gives you a specific goal to focus on in a given moment.
- Acknowledge that it’s just temporary: Acknowledge through conscious thought and spoken word that the holiday season is just temporary. Reminding your brain that associated time-related anxiety is just temporary can immediately provide relief.
Unhealthy Consumption Temptations
The holiday season is riddled with temptations that can lead to overindulgence in food, alcohol, and other potentially unhealthy things. For instance, participation in digital gaming (video games and online gambling) tends to increase during the holidays, driven by a combination of increased leisure time, special promotions, social gatherings, and emotional factors. Overindulgence in any of these are associated with increased feelings and anxiety, stress, and depression. And with less time for exercise and adequate sleep, people often feel worry about the impact on their physical and mental health, which compounds the negative feelings.
The average person can overcome the urge for unhealthy consumption by being more conscious and mindful about what they do. However, those who are vulnerable to and/or have a history of impulsive or compulsive behavior will need to connect to a counselor who specializes in helping people overcome unhealthy urges. Our virtual counseling platform is comprised of counselors who specialize in treating behavioral health issues that rear their head more often during the holiday season. If your concern about how to make it through the holidays relates to unhealthy consumption, tap the link below.
SPEAK TO A COUNSELOR ABOUT YOUR URGES
Family Dynamics
The holiday season is typically time when families come together. While this can be a positive thing, it also creates opportunity for unresolved conflicts or tension to bubble to the surface.
Parents are often a source of holiday anxiety and stress, even among those without adolescent trauma who have reasonably good relationships with them. If this is something that you could use a helping hand with, reference the resource below.
HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PARENTS AS AN ADULT
Gathering among siblings, cousins, and kin can also lead to anxiety-inducing interactions. This is particularly true when sociopolitical topics are served at the dinner table with turkey and all the trimmings. To keep things from boiling over, start a text thread between family that in a heartfelt manner requests that you collectively agree to leave contentious topics off the table for holiday season gatherings. If they don’t agree to abstain, or such debates are an innate part of the family dynamic, consider excusing yourself from discussions to enjoy HOME ALONE or ELF in the next room. In some cases, engaging in or overhearing anxiety-inducing interactions may be unavoidable, so come prepared with the following techniques.
- Regulate your mind and body: Scan your mind and body for signs of stress and tension (view here). When evident, step away to the restroom and employ deep-breathing exercises, such as inhaling for a count of four and exhaling for six which will help calm your nervous system. Don’t do this in front of them (at least not in a visible manner) as it can be taken as an aggressive behavior.
- Thoughtfully listen and ask questions: Aim for understanding over victory. During discussion, ask open-ended questions such as, “What experiences have you had that shaped that view?” or “What makes this specific topic so meaningful to you?” Doing so shifts the dynamic from a debate to a more engaging discourse. Family members engaged in the discussion will take note and likely reciprocate with more thoughtful communication of their own.
- Acknowledge common ground: Listen carefully for points that you agree on and draw attention to them though words such as “That’s a good point” or “I agree that’s an important issue”. It conveys respect and lowers defenses.
- Be mindful of body language: Don’t cross your arms, furrow your brow, make aggressive eye contact, point, or take a rigid/tense posture during discussion. Instead, maintain an upright, relaxed posture with your shoulders back, using the chair to support your spine while keeping your arms and legs uncrossed. You may also lean forward slightly to show active listening when someone is expressing a thought or feeling.
- Have an exit strategy: If a conversation become too heated, disengage in a calm and respectful manner. Use phrases like “We’re in a bit of a loop, so let’s pause and pick this up tomorrow”, or “We both made some valid points. Let’s call it a draw and enjoy the rest of the evening together”.
In the event that discussions among family cause significant ongoing distress that extends beyond the holidays, it’s time to consider counseling. This can be done individually so that you learn to reframe your anxieties, or it can be done together with one or more members of the family where conflict is ever-present. Explore the following links accordingly:
Loneliness
An expressed need to get through the holidays is also prevalent among those who do not have family or a close social group to enjoy the season with. If you’re among them, we encourage you to explore group counseling services. Group counseling is a powerful method for overcoming holiday season loneliness by providing authentic connection, validation through shared experiences, and a safe space to develop interpersonal skills. It fosters a sense community where you can feel understood and supported, breaking the cycle of holiday season (and beyond) isolation.
EXPLORE GROUP COUNSELING FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Grief
The holidays can elevate feelings of grief, reminding an individual who has lost someone close to them about how a loved one is no longer with them. This is not generally something to overcome on your own. Grief and loss counseling can help you work through the emotions that accompany the loss of a loved one. Your counselor will provide a safe space to talk about the loss, process feelings like sadness, anger, or guilt, and learn strategies to cope and adapt to life after the loss. It will make this holiday season, and those to come, far more manageable. Further, it will help you to focus more on the good holiday season memories with a loved one.
Unrealistic Expectations
The holiday season can be a magical time of the year. Many build it up in their minds through the months and weeks preceding the day or series of days that mean the most to them. This can lead to anxiety and stress when things don’t go exactly as planned. Sound familiar?
To manage unrealistic expectations associated with this time of the year, proceed with the following:
- Identify and evaluate expectations: Question where your expectations have come from, and if they are realistic. Taking a moment to do so can provide clarity.
- Set new and achievable goals: This may require that you don’t take on as much as you normally would during the holidays. For instance, if you celebrate Christmas and host both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at your home, ask if another family member can host one of the gathering at their abode. If you host Hanukkah celebrations, make the dining portions a potluck affair so that you’re not the only one doling out brisket, latkes, and matzah balls. This new way of thinking can also be applied if you find yourself stressing out about attending in ALL of the holiday festivities in your locale (parades, plays, concerts, etc.). Trim the schedule down to the events that your household enjoys the most, which will free up time and your mind.
As indicated for each of the sources of negative feelings above, the concluding call to action is generally rooted in counseling. It can make a fundamental difference in how you experience the holiday season today and from hereon in. Reach out via your preferred from of contact provided below to get started.
Make it Through (and Thrive!) During the Holidays
