Are you wondering if this is actually a problem or if you are just overthinking it?
If you are here, you are probably not looking for a clinical definition of “gambling addiction”. You are trying to make sense of something that doesn’t fully add up or perhaps you are not quite ready to call it a “problem” yet.
Most people think gambling is about money – winning it, losing it, chasing it. But when you sit across from someone who treats gambling disorder every day, that story starts to fall apart.
We spoke with Latisha Christensen, a therapist at Kindbridge, who enjoys working with marginalized and historically oppressed groups on gambling and money-related struggles.
Latisha grew up in a family that talked openly about money. “We were taught how to avoid debt, exploitation, and even workaholism. But despite that, I still experienced debt at a young age. I know what that feels like.” That lived experience shapes how she works with clients today.
What follows is a real, unfiltered conversation to understand what’s really going on beneath the surface. This conversation explores:
- How gambling and money are connected
- The early signs partners often notice first
- Why change is harder than it looks
- What’s actually happening beneath the behavior
What stood out most in this conversation is that gambling is often not the starting point. It is one part of a much bigger picture.
Gambling is rarely the first problem
Question:
Is this always about gambling, or can it be something else?
Latisha:
People usually come in thinking it’s gambling but once we start talking, it opens up into something bigger.
We look at their beliefs about money – how they were raised, what money represents to them.
– Some clients grew up in scarcity and now hoard money, afraid to spend.
– Others chase money, tying their worth to how much they earn or win.
– Some use gambling as a way to feel something, anything, other than loneliness, boredom or low self-worth.
There is always a bigger story. We are treating more than gambling. We are trying to shift how someone thinks about money entirely.
The illusion of being “ready“
Question:
How do you know if someone is actually ready to change?
Latisha:
Almost everyone says they are ready to change but readiness shows up in action, not just words. So you don’t really know until the therapeutic relationship deepens and trust is established, what the intention behind change is.
Why boredom is a hidden risk factor
Question:
What’s usually driving the behavior underneath?
Latisha:
It can be tied to boredom, stress, emotional discomfort, or the need for stimulation. For some individuals, it becomes a way to manage how they feel.
Boredom is one of the most underestimated triggers. People don’t realize how hard it can be to sit with it. So we create plans for that – activities, routines, distractions. Sometimes it’s as simple as going for a walk or calling someone but without a plan, boredom can pull a person into relapse.
When gambling looks “normal” on the outside
Question:
Is it always obvious when it becomes serious?
Latisha:
Not at all, sometimes, the realization is quieter.
I worked with someone who had spent decades gambling with her husband. They had a house, cars, solid income, a long marriage, a stable life. From the outside, everything looked fine until she started thinking about retirement.
Decades of what she considered recreational gambling slowly drained her retirement, leaving her savings exhausted. That was the moment she realized there was a problem.
So it doesn’t always look like a crisis, sometimes it looks like a normal life.
What gambling recovery actually feels like in real life
Question:
What does recovery really involve beyond stopping gambling?
Latisha:
Recovery is usually a series of changes that build over time. For this client, it meant:
– Installing blockers to prevent online gambling
– Attending support groups multiple times a week
– Finding an accountability partner
– Replacing gambling with new routines and hobbies (she started knitting)
– Gradually reducing casino visits until she stopped completely
– Realizing that boundaries had to be set with the people she cared for
Recovery isn’t a clean, linear path, it looks different for everyone.
You can also read Ryan’s story of navigating the ups and downs of the recovery process.
The hardest moment in gambling recovery: Dealing with late night urges
Question:
When are people most vulnerable to slipping?
Latisha:
That’s the real test. Recovery doesn’t happen in a 1-hour session, it happens in real-life moments – late at night, when they are alone and the urge hits.
That’s why support outside therapy is important because at 11 PM, when the urge hits, you need someone you can reach immediately. That’s where real support matters because urges don’t wait for scheduled sessions.
When does gambling become a problem?
Question:
Is gambling always bad?
Latisha:
Not necessarily, not every trip to a casino or every poker night is a sign of problem gambling.
It becomes a problem when it starts interfering with your life and affects how you spend money, save money, show up in relationships, function day-to-day and especially when you start chasing losses – that’s when you are stuck in the cycle.
What families, partners often get wrong about gambling disorder
Question:
What do you wish families, partners understood better?
Latisha:
That gambling isn’t just a bad habit.
It’s easy to assume the person could just stop if they wanted to but addiction doesn’t work that way. Gambling changes the brain, it rewires it for dopamine, for that hit. When the brain is rewired, impulsivity, judgment and control becomes altered and it feels almost impossible to return to normal habits. So from the outside, it might look like a choice but from the inside, it’s much more complicated.
We hope that when families engage in therapy or join groups like Gam-Anon, it shifts their perspective on compulsive gambling being a choice and hopefully moves the narrative from shame and blame to support and empathy.
Providers in this work understand how hard it can be for families and loved ones to shift this perspective when they themselves are dealing with grief, trauma and the slow process of rebuilding trust. It is recommended that when the gambler seeks treatment, the family seeks counseling as well.
We need to talk about money more
Question:
Anything you wish people did differently?
Latisha:
It is imperative that we talk more openly and honestly about our beliefs, values, influence, upbringing and culture around money. These courageous conversations can reveal compatibility in coupling, a person’s ability to achieve financial goals, survival versus abundance mindsets, and how individuals problem solve through financial hardship and stress.
A small change can change everything
Question:
If someone feels like they have hit rock bottom, what would you say?
Latisha:
I would say change is closer than you think.
I love this quote by the Dalai Lama – “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito”. It is a vivid metaphor to convey a profound truth about influence and impact.
Small changes have a big impact. When rock bottom becomes a reality, do not take for granted the small things you can do to overcome this moment in time.
A simple reflection
If you are reading this as an individual, you may be trying to understand your own behavior. If you are reading this as a partner or family member, you may be trying to make sense of someone else’s. Either way, the fact that you are asking the question matters.
So if you are asking yourself whether this is really gambling, or something deeper, you are already closer to the truth than you think and that awareness is often where change begins.
Kindbridge offers confidential support for individuals, partners, and families navigating gambling and money-related struggles.
Take the first step – support is just a call or click away!